Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Angie-piece Theater

Angie-piece Theater


"Pride and Pissed-off-ness"
Act 1:
Raise Curtain- The scene opens with Angela reading an email about how wonderful it is that she can sew an apron. So she catches the sewing bug and roots around in her stash for more fabric.

"Cool! Look at all this great fabric in my stash. The boy's boxers are starting to wear. I should make them a few pairs. I'll start with 6 pairs for Littlebear. That way I can give them to him for his birthday."

---Angela chooses/washes/irons the fabric (Like every anal-retentive seamstress does) Takes out her patterns. Makes wax paper copies so she doesn't damage her originals. Cuts out SIX pairs of boxers and starts to sew.

"Hey look, instructions. Well, I don't need those....I've made about 20 pairs of these. Instructions are for wussies that don't have my superior sewing abilities."

--Angela proceeds to Serge, Double Sew, and Press the main seam that goes from the back to the front on all six boxers. Then she tries to figure out the "Flap" on the boxers.

"Crap! How in the world do they get that little flap? Lemme go look at the boxers I've done and see if I can't figure it out. (Instructions are for dweebs).....Hmmm yes....Sew here.....Double Sew here......OH CRAP! I Double sewed the WRONG @#$%^ing line. Where are those *beeping* instructions???"

---Angela then spends 3 hours picking out double stitching on six pairs of boxers and trying HARD not to teach her son any new curse words. Lower Curtain. Applause.

And the moral of the story is:

"In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes"
-John Ruskin 1819-1900

PS I'm ready for a Kahlua/Milk and a dip in my "refreshing" 90 degree pool.

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